Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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