we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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