Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize