yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
