butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize