at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
handjob tips. give me some.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
