nut hugger
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize