Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
