R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
