ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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