is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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