Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize