I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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