she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
