I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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