I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Randomize
