Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We had sex on a dog bed..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
