i was rollin on her like bob the builder
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
