chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
