she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
