ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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