All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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