Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
