you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
