new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
