ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
