just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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