my sisters under your porch take her home
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
