Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Pooping to opera.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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