Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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