She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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