It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
