he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
