she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
