I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
