Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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