just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
