Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't turn off my feet"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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