Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
