hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
