honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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