isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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