You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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