Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
