Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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