i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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