i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
