Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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