I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
