3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wish my penis had a tongue
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
