Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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