after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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