Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
