I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
