The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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