I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
