it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
