i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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