Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
