I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
