So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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