the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
