im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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