I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
