ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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